Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports even though others claim they should have the freedom to choose a sport of their liking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A number of

people

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have expressed their concerns towards dangerous

sports

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However

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, some might suggest their views on freedom of

sports

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. I personally agree that

people

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should be able to choose a sport freely subject to their liking.

However

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, I fully encourage that the

government

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should improve professional training in these dangerous

sports

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. In

this

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essay, I will explain more about the topic.

To begin

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with, there are many dangerous

sports

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that exist these days. Most of these

people

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are adrenaline junkies who love to do adventurous things.

For instance

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, F1 racing is considered to be a dangerous sport. The outcomes of an accident can lead to a very critical state.

However

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, an individual should be able to proceed with their own hobbies and interests. Sean Gelael is one of the Indonesian racing athletes, and the impacts that he has brought to my country in

sports

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are undeniable.

Therefore

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, I am fully against the disbanding of dangerous

sports

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. In terms of professional training,

this

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is something that the

government

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should really attention to. Proper training by a professional can mitigate the result of incompetent athletes. As a matter of fact, I fully suggest a total disbandment of unprofessional

sports

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such

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as a wild rally. These races could involve a lot of

people

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in dangerous situations. By training professionally, these athletes could really explore their potential and bring a good performance for their country.

Thus

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, there are many efforts that the

government

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can do on

this

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matter. In conclusion, I totally disagree that the

government

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should ban dangerous

sports

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. In fact,

people

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should have the freedom to choose a sport of their liking.

Nevertheless

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, the

government

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can make multiple efforts to mitigate the bad outcomes.

iigness05Wed Jan 15 2025

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task achievement

Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to outline your stance and the main points that will be discussed in the essay for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph clearly relates to your main argument and link them smoothly to maintain coherence and flow.

task achievement

Consider including more specific examples or evidence to reinforce your points.

task achievement

You clearly state your opinion on the issue, supporting the idea of individual freedom in choosing sports.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are appropriately structured, which contributes to a clear logical flow.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument, albeit prioritizing one over the other.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports even though others claim they should have the freedom to choose a sport of their liking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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