Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

People need some main requirements to be happy all over the stage of own life. A great number of people opine that riches is not a foremost need for

this

Linking Words

. From my point of view, I agree with that happiness require different thing than wealth. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will notify some of the reasons why I support

this

Linking Words

proposal. On the one hand, we cannot underestimate that great numbers of people around the world suffer from some incurable illness.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it can be clearly realized that rich businessmen or their children are experiencing these diseases.

That is

Linking Words

to say, richness is insufficient to prevent some awful situations. Those who want to recover absolutely sacrifice from their

money

Use synonyms

for the sake of their health.

For instance

Linking Words

, in spite of the fact that a businessman who is the owner a lot of company and have an uncountable heritage in Turkey yet, his child unable to can speak. Currency does not find a remedy for

this

Linking Words

and make their parent happy.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there

are

Suggestion

a large number of people reached riches all around the world. Most of them have made an effort to gain

this

Linking Words

legacy. Owing to the fact that

any

quantifier; used with either mass nouns or plural count nouns to indicate an unspecified number or quantity

some

property cannot obtain haphazardly. As a consequence of

this

Linking Words

, these people have lots of

money

Use synonyms

are not able to spend enough cash on their welfare due to the fact that they have to work constantly. According to many health reports, it can be easily seen that hundreds of rich people die every year before they do not become a tired person. To sum up, in light of

this

Linking Words

information, it can be clearly inferred from the points noted that having a lot of

money

Use synonyms

is not adequate. There are many

needed which

Accept comma addition

needed, which

have vital importance in our

life

Accept comma addition

life, such

such

Linking Words

as health, tranquillity.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, we can see many people who are happy relatively rich human in spite of having less

money

Use synonyms

Burak

May 31, 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealth
money
happiness
basic needs
comfort
stress
health
family
friends
time
security
meaning
purpose
contentment
joy
envy
care
support
relationship
balance
habits
routine
generosity
charity
community
lottery
risk
pressure
success

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