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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles and so on are involved in a child’s upbringing, rather than just their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In contemporary society, the traditional nuclear family structure is evolving, sparking discussions on the role of extended family
members
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,
such
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 as aunts and uncles, in a
child
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's upbringing.
This
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 essay contends that involving the extended family in
child
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 rearing offers numerous advantages that contribute to a more comprehensive and enriching developmental experience. One compelling rationale for extended family involvement lies in the additional emotional support and diverse perspectives they bring. Aunts and uncles, often acting as secondary caregivers, provide children with alternative viewpoints and nurturing relationships that complement those with their parents. The emotional bonds formed with extended family
members
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 create a sense of security and expose children to a broader range of experiences, fostering emotional intelligence and resilience.
Furthermore
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, the distribution of responsibilities among family
members
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 leads to a more balanced and enriching upbringing. With aunts, uncles, and grandparents contributing to childcare, parents can share the burden of parenting duties , ensuring that the
child
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's needs are met holistically.
This
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 collaborative approach not only eases the pressure on parents but
also
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 enhances the
child
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's
overall
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 well-being. In conclusion, the benefits of involving extended family
members
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 in a
child
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's upbringing are evident, ranging from emotional support and diverse perspectives to a more balanced distribution of responsibilities.
While
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 challenges must be navigated, fostering a collaborative and supportive family environment is undeniably advantageous for the well-being and growth of the younger generation.

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task achievement
While your ideas are clear and insightful, consider providing more specific examples or real-life scenarios to support your points. This will add more depth and relevance to your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that all your ideas are fully developed in terms of supporting arguments. Some points could benefit from further elaboration to strengthen your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical flow, but be mindful of varying your sentence structures to enhance the overall flow and engagement of your writing.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the context and clearly states your position, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have strong connections between paragraphs, with a cohesive argument that progresses logically throughout the essay, which supports readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • extended family
  • support network
  • emotional development
  • social development
  • cultural values
  • sense of identity
  • shared responsibilities
  • perspectives
  • role models
  • critical thinking
  • adaptability
  • diverse opinions
  • family traditions
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