IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

#countries #children #rules #behaviour
Recently, there is a commonly discussed topic about the children behaviours, how they are conducted by the rules. In some countries they have very strict rules and others they are free. Some people assert that kids have to have rules grow with discipline and focus on their goals. Whilst, others maintain that let the children be free they develop more sensitive of creativity, allowing them to be what they want to be. Some of each,
this
 essay shall consider. The
first
 point to contemplate is regarding the fact that some countries that used to be more conservative or religious behaviours, tend to be more rude in terms of
education
 and rules with children. They believe that way kids will grow up with discipline, as their parents or grandparents.
Furthermore
, many schools still teach kids with those rules and
this
 kind of
education
 is antiquated and outdated.
On the other hand
, in
this
 new era, many countries are adopting a free
education
, where they believe they can explore more creative and freedom’s thoughts. In my opinion,
this
 kind of
education
 is more interactive. Today we are suffering with interpersonal problems because of technology.
For example
, cell phones, computers and television do not allow them to interact with others, or even groomers do not want to practice sports outdoors, they rather play video games. In Germany, there is a school method where kids learn to play interactive games, learn to cultivate fruits and veggies, and much more until they are 10 years old. Just after that they start to have indoor classes.
Finally
, considering the points discussed previously, it is clear to state how more interactive, more effective the
education
 will be when kids learn playing. Kids need to be free, play and develop good mental health to support adult life,
otherwise
 the world will be boring.
Submitted by feguedeslima on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • discipline
  • autonomy
  • safety
  • responsibility
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • independence
  • boundaries
  • rebellion
  • holistic development
  • structure
  • nurturing environment
  • behavioral expectations
  • social norms
  • authority
  • decision-making skills
  • consequences
  • respect
What to do next:
Look at other essays: