IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People in the community can buy cheaper products nowadays. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#people #community #products
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Today consumers
Accept comma addition
Today, consumers
 could spend less
money
Use synonyms
 on purchasing goods. While there are several disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 problem, I would argue that cheaper
price
Use synonyms
 brings greater advantages to customers and businesses. On the one hand,
the lower
Suggestion
the low
 cost of products has some drawbacks.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people would spend much
money
Use synonyms
 on unnecessary goods which significantly contributes to a great waste of
money
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, due to the sale programs of clothing stores, my mother bought cheap T-shirts that had never worn them. If the
price
Use synonyms
 of goods does not decrease, many people would not waste
money
Use synonyms
 on unnecessary products.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many people consume these goods which leads to cheap mass production to provide them with enough products.
As a result
Linking Words
, some producers might use materials that are cheap and low-quality.
This
Linking Words
 reduces the trust of customers in these brands.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe the decrease of products
is
Suggestion
are
 beneficial for both citizens and enterprises to some extent. The
first
Linking Words
 clear benefit is that people could save their budgets, which helps them to spend their
money
Use synonyms
 on other necessary items.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
price
Use synonyms
 of petrol went down in the Covid-19
outbreak which
Accept comma addition
outbreak, which
 allows residents to spend more expenditure on buying foods and paying electronic bills. Another great benefit is that because of the decline of consumer good
price
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, many families who have low income could own products that have been
unaffordable
Suggestion
 before, which increases their living standard and narrows the gap between the rich and the poor.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, lower cost could increase the
sale
Suggestion
sales
 volume of stores.
This
Linking Words
 allows these shops to make profits and resolve their inventories. In conclusion, while cheaper
price
Use synonyms
 for goods can have several drawbacks, I would argue that its benefits are greater.
Submitted by Diệu Minh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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