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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#places #people #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart provides information about the percentage of three various
people
Use synonyms
 living in
Canada
Use synonyms
 visiting four different places
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 born in
Canada
Use synonyms
 and new
migrants
Use synonyms
 born in English-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 prefer mostly going to cinemas more than other places,
theatre
Fix the agreement mistake
theatres
show examples
,
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
 and
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, libraries in
Canada
Use synonyms
 are visited frequently by
people
Use synonyms
 new
migrants
Use synonyms
 born in other
countries
Use synonyms
. Almost 55
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
migrants
Use synonyms
 living in
Canada
Use synonyms
, born in other
countries
Use synonyms
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 most of their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visiting libraries. Going to
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
 is the
second
Linking Words
 highest of popular activity for them, with 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. the zoos are chosen to visit by around 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 group, and only
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 category
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 prefer to visit
theatre
Add an article
the theatre
show examples
. Cinemas are preferred by 70
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of Natives in
Canada
Use synonyms
,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
higher than New
migrants
Use synonyms
’ born in English-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 by approximately 6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, but the percentage of
this
Linking Words
 group of
people
Use synonyms
 visiting the theatre is
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
. On top of
this
Linking Words
, the rates of those
people
Use synonyms
 going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos and libraries are close
each
Change preposition
to each
show examples
 other with almost 42
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 38
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
migrants
Use synonyms
 born in English-speaking prefer to visit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos.
As
Correct word choice
Like
show examples
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
 groups of
people
Use synonyms
, the lowest percentage of
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new
migrants
Use synonyms
 born in English-speaking spending
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time with just around 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the place theatres, and 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of them
passes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pass
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 time in
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
.
Submitted by görkem eren özdemir on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, canada, migrants, countries, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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