IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

some people think money is the best gift to give youngsters, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #money #gift #youngsters
Some people argue that,
money
 is the best
gift
 that can be given to the youngsters
,
Accept space
,
while others argue that it is not acceptable to do so. I firmly believe that,
money
 is not the best
gift
 to give to the youngsters.
Therefore
,
this
 essay will explain my viewpoints in detail and reach to a conclusion.
Firstly
, it can be said that, the giving
money
 is one of the best gifts for the youngsters. In some instances, it can be useful when supporting them with opening up a new bank account, or giving them for a useful work
such
 as Education or Medicine. Some of the people are
also
tendingalso
tendingalso
tendingalso
 tend to
giving
Suggestion
give
be giving
 them a pocket
money
 that so helping them with the financial support.
However
, it is not the best
gift
, since people
also
 can surprise them with other ways,
such
 as Hanging with them for a diner, Watching a movie with them, Presenting a nice
gift
 and Much More.
For example
, In the recent study done by the California University revealed that 50% of the USA Kids are so interesting into the gifts. So, the parents and families can give their favourite gifts on
such
 kids and youngsters with special moments. I personally believe that, the gifts are better things to give to the kids rather than giving with the
money
. So,
Money
 can be used in various ways, yet some kids might use that an inappropriate way.
Lastly
, It can be concluded that, the
money
 is not the best
gift
 to give to the youngsters, yet giving the gifts can be effective and useful for the youngsters.
Submitted by navodi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: