IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour
In my opinion, children should know about what is wrong or
right
 as early as possible. Sometimes, kids
have done
Suggestion
do
did
 wrong things unconsciously. But, unfortunately parents communicate with them like adults and punish them with difficult things.
First
 of all, I would like to talk about why children should learn good manners and the ability to know
right
 from wrong things. If we learn it as early as possible, we will be able to make
right
 decisions in some sort of situations.
For example
, choosing our friends, helping others or studying well. These types of decisions shape our future. From the beginning, if we do these basic things
right
, we can get more opportunity and seize them. Because, we know them
right
.
On the other hand
, kids are like white paper. They are born to learn things and adapt them in their own way. So only family members or teachers can’t influence them by their
act
Suggestion
actions
 or words. Kids learn from other people who have bad manners or behaviours, too. Sometimes they act wrong and unconsciously do not so good things. But, If parents or teachers use wrong punishment like hitting their body, hurting them by words or standing for hours, they will learn it from them and use it to their kids and
as a result
 it will never end. So, us, adults should teach our
next
 generations how to be good and make
right
 decisions. But when kids do bad things we shouldn’t punish them. We can talk to them about their actions, they will understand it. Or we can fix it together.
Submitted by Dola on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: