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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
It is certainly true that balancing population is essential. Nowadays, some countries have a relative number between young adults and older people. I concur with aging society can occur in a few years,
this
 may cause some problems with the workforce of the host countries, but I incline that
this
 case can handle in some ways. It is clear that the large number of people has an important impact on countries.
In particular
 developed countries, Governments gain money throughout tax systems what are paid by employees.
Therefore
, aging population in sense that senior citizens who are eligible to receive pension from Governments’ state subsidize when they retiring. The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller, and government
t
herefore earn
Suggestion
therefore earns
less money in taxes. One so far reason for
that is
 the young workers have to struggle with heavy workload to pay more taxes.
T
hus some
Accept comma addition
Thus, some
people tend to suffer enough pressure from family burden or “living wage”. So,
this
 balance by both young adults and elderly people will get trouble in later life if we ignore it.
On the other hand
, it is not hard as much as people think to solve
t
his problems.
Suggestion
this problem
these problems
Firstly
, Governments can increase the retirement age group, perhaps 65-70 years old. People nowadays have enough health to perform productively at work.
Secondly
, encouraging immigrants from overseas should be done by Governments in order to grow the number of working employees who have an obligation to pay taxes.
Finally
, Governments
also
 should use an amount of national budgets in order to invest in health care systems or even education which make it easier to enhance people’s awareness about social contributions and responsibilities. In conclusion, I strongly believe there will have some ways to deal with problems.
Submitted by Đức Hậu on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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