Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #childhood #obesity #fault #parents

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent decades, the quantity of children with

obesity

Use synonyms

has drastically increased. While some people claim that the authority is liable for the infants'

obesity

Use synonyms

, others believe that

adolescents'

Suggestion

adolescent

overweight is

parent's responsibility

Suggestion

the parent's responsibility

a parent's responsibility

. In my opinion, the latter approach appears more liable for adolescents. On the one hand, it is clear that the ministry should take a responsibility of

children

Suggestion

child

obesity

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, these days more and more children rely on fast-food or pre-prepared meals, which contain too much fat, salt and sugar. To be more specific, these Foods are attractive to infants because they are cheap to buy and very easy to prepare.

As a result

Linking Words

, an unhealthy food can cause various problems

such

Linking Words

as type 2 diabetes, heart disease, cancer and overweight etc.

For instance

Linking Words

, a paper published by Dr Robert Watson, a world renowned specialist, reveals that the reason for infants'

obesity

Use synonyms

is that more than 58% of children are eating fast-food in schools.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, parents should care about the weight of their infants.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, the philosophy about everything begins from home, it

make

Suggestion

makes

sense that environment of

home

Suggestion

the home

homes

reflect

Suggestion

reflects

children

Suggestion

children's

habit.

For example

Linking Words

mostly

Suggestion

most

the overweight children have uncontrolled eating habit by their parents, so children prefer consuming unhealthy food without knowing the dire effects to their body.

Secondly

Linking Words

, parents are really busy with working, so they cannot manage well about their

children

Suggestion

child's

children's

meal as they just provide

soke

quantifier; used with either mass nouns or plural count nouns to indicate an unspecified number or quantity

some

money to their children for having a lunch.

Moreover

Linking Words

, children choose to lead a sedentary lifestyle.

In particular

Linking Words

, in their leisure time, they watch television or go online as well as play video game

instead

Linking Words

of doing outdoor activities. To sum up, both the ministry and parents can play an indispensable role in preventing

children

Suggestion

child

obesity

Use synonyms

. The authority should regulate the food industry and parents should serve

healthy home cooked meal

Suggestion

healthy home cooked meals

a healthy home cooked meal

and encourage to play outdoor sports.

Submitted by Md Ridoy Hossain on Wed Jun 03 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?
It is often thought that immigration has a major impact on society. The impacts of that statement can both result in people’s agreement and disagreement. Some people believe that moving from places can bring you new experiences, such as new work experience, social life, and lots of other reasons. This essay will list why people choose to migrate from their current environment to another and its consequences.
6.5
band
Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is common for organisations to have seniors as top executives. However, in the contemporary era, many people argue that young individuals are better to instead of these older leaders. In my opinion, I completely agree with this view.
4.5
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars
With the advent of technology, the world is evolving faster with several technological advancements making our lives easier. Over the past three decades, car ownership has seen an unprecedented rise, leading to severe congestion on the roads. I think the above statement is very true. The government should take necessary measures to discourage people from using cars.
6
band
Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
There is an ongoing debate about increasing the prices of sugary products, the main culprit behind various deadly health issues. While I agree this approach will reduce market consumption in general and lead our society to a healthy lifestyle, I believe that the implementation should be approached with caution to minimize potential drawbacks, especially concerning economic aspects like bankruptcy and unemployment.
7.5
band
Sometimes, tourists may damage tourist sites. Explain what some of the negative effects may be. Suggest some solutions to this problem
In recent years, travel has been one of the most prevalent fields of service, which brought about numerous merits to economic growth and higher living standards. However, many sightseers have some detrimental effects on visitor attractions. In this essay, some of its consequences will be examined while some measures will be suggested to alleviate this problem.

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars

Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Sometimes, tourists may damage tourist sites. Explain what some of the negative effects may be. Suggest some solutions to this problem