IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people from rural areas moving to the cities. What problem can this cause? What can be solutions?

#people #areas #cities
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It is clearly evident that
,
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apply
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 moving from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 big metropolitan
city
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 has become a tradition in most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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families.
However
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, it can
can
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apply
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pose a problem in the society. Numerous solutions can be taken up by individuals to curb
this
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 point of view.
Firstly
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, moving into the vast
city
Use synonyms
 life can pose a problem in the society itself. It would be the cause of a drastic decrease in the population of the countryside.
Additionally
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,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in population density in the urban
areas
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 can pave the way for a drop in basic amenities, namely food, shelter and water.
This
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 would greatly affect the mental
as well as
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 physical
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
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 of a person, yet most of them prefer
this
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 way for a better living and comfort.
As a result
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, the number of farmers and other primary producers may
also
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 go down, giving rise to food shortage problems, because each and every pupil
are
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is
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 aiming to be an engineer or a doctor. More hospitality, good quality education and nearby services force people to migrate to the suburban
areas
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, a survey depicted that, there was a 50% increase in the relocation of mankind to the towns.
Finally
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, solutions to
this
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 issue cannot bring a sudden change, rather it would take plenty of time. One great solution can be contributed by the government, by boosting
up
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the number of medical facilities and other needful provisions for humans. By doing
this
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, they would tend to stay in their homeland. Another solution could be, bringing up more job opportunities in the rural side, which would in turn shoot up the
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 status of certain families who suffer to acquire 3 meals a day.
For example
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, awareness campaigns and promotions have been going on in most of the rural
areas
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 to build up better generations, without the facilities offered by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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city
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 life. In conclusion, moving into cities wouldn't pose a problem unless you fully indulge in the
city
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 life and heavenly materialistic objects that it may provide. Both society and government can tackle
this
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 upcoming threat by changing the lifestyle and occupation criteria.
Submitted by vinu_vmv on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear and specific introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay. Use topic sentences to each main paragraph to maintain a clear logical structure. Ensure that each supporting detail reinforces the main points and relates back to the topic.
task achievement
Address the task prompt fully by discussing both the problems and solutions related to people moving from rural areas to cities. Use specific and comprehensive ideas to support your arguments. Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points effectively.
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