IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some say thatr advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Today, using advertisements is an important and well-known method in marketing companies. There are several ways to attract clients all over the world,
such
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 as social media, influencers, and many more. Some individuals believe that advertising is highly effective in convincing consumers to make purchases.
Conversely
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, others argue that advertising has become so widespread that it fails to capture their attention. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
Firstly
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, there are different reasons individuals are effective at advertising, but the most common ones are images of
people
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 having fun together
while
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 using a particular product, capitalizing on the effect, emphasizing only the positive user experiences, and using comparison techniques to highlight the product's advantages and set it apart from competitors. These messages are regularly repeated, even though
people
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 may not be aware of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, and
this
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 could result in a type of conditioning that eventually persuades them to buy the goods. When someone watches television and sees an advertisement for a snack on a regular basis,
for instance
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, the constant exposure to the appetizing visuals of the meal may cause feelings of hunger, which may
finally
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 lead the person to give in to the influence of the advertisement.
Secondly
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, an alternative viewpoint suggests that the widespread presence of advertisements has led to their normalization in society. After being exposed to countless
ads
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,
people
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 may start to see them as a regular part of everyday life, resulting in a reduced reaction to the sheer volume of advertising. Some viewers might even temporarily change the channel on their television to escape the constant stream of repetitive
ads
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. A clear example of
this
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 can be seen on the social media platform YouTube. In its advertising model,
ads
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 are strategically placed before and during videos, under the assumption that viewers will watch them.
However
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,
this
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 assumption often proves incorrect, as many users choose to skip, dismiss, or ignore the
ads
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 to resume their viewing experience.
To conclude
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,
while
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 some
people
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 argue that advertisements are usually unimportant and seen as useless information, I firmly believe that they are a great way to promote a product with great content.

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Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, make sure to clearly link your arguments with cohesive devices to enhance flow. Consider using more transitional phrases like 'On the other hand,' or 'Additionally,' to maintain a smooth, logical progression between points.
Task Achievement
Your discussion is detailed, but ensure your main points address both sides equally before presenting your own view. More balance might provide a fuller picture of the debate.
Task Achievement
Clarify your position in the conclusion by slightly expanding on personal viewpoints or actions that could emphasize the significance of advertising or its redundancy.
Introduction & Conclusion Presence
The introduction and conclusion are strong, hitting the main topic and summarizing well. Your conclusion effectively sums up your arguments.
Relevance & Use of Examples
You've utilized relevant examples, especially the YouTube advertising model, which effectively supports your points and adds clarity to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • capture attention
  • emotional engagement
  • targeting techniques
  • tailor ads
  • preferences
  • celebrity endorsements
  • influencer marketing
  • psychological tactics
  • scarcity
  • urgency
  • ad fatigue
  • effectiveness
  • coping mechanisms
  • ad blockers
  • saturated markets
  • innovative strategies
  • traditional methods
  • digital media
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