IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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It is often argued that by some people most of the zoological gardens are inhumane, whilst others think they have a great role in preserving endangered
species
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 in the world.
This
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 essay suggests that many zoos display adverse effects of endangered animals and will discuss both points of view. On the one hand,
although
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 there are could be beneficial aspects despite
this
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, there are negative factors. The main harmful factor is being cruel. It is clear that nowadays the majority of zoos utilise rare animals for its profit.
Therefore
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, zoos target, making much more money because most of the locality is interested rare animals.
For example
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, it is a regrettable situation in my hometown, where rare animals are kept limited space
also
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, their nutrients are not given in time.
That is
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 why,
such
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species
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 began to dye gradually.
Furthermore
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, zoological gardens give the permission to hunt
such
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 endangered animals.
That is
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 why, there is to go proven that they are pretty inhumane.
On the other hand
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, it is common knowledge that the majority of animals are unable to protect themselves.
That is
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 why, in
such
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 condition many zoos have a beneficial role in preserving animals, especially rare
species
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. It means that there are stronger creatures which caused disappeared rare animals. For
this
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 reason, with the help of zoological gardens,
such
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species
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 are protected in zoos as their natural habitat.
For instance
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, the majority of zoos in the USA have diverse endangered animal
species
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 which can preserve themselves from nature’s detrimental effects. In conclusion, while there are both merits and demerits aspects about zoos,
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however
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however, this
this
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, in my opinion, one most viable way of protecting endangered
species
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 is creating a natural habitat for them.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
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