IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir/Madam

#job #employment #agency #sort #skills #sir #madam
Dear Sir/Madam, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. My name is Antoine Huai and I am writing to express my interest in pursuing new career opportunities in the field of marketing. After getting an MBA degree, I have been working as a
markeing
Correct your spelling
marketing
 manager in a leading
logistic
Fix the agreement mistake
logistics
show examples
 company for eight years. I am a customer-centric person and my passion for business growth has driven me to acquire good analytical and creative skills. Currently, I am seeking
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 higher-level position that would allow me to take on more responsibilities,
such
 as a senior
markeing
Correct your spelling
marketing
 manager role. Alternatively, I am
also
 keen to explore chances in Fortune 500 companies like UPS or FedEx, where I could work with colleagues all over the world. In my current position, I have been primarily responsible for product portfolio design, rate setting, and new
product’s
Change noun form
product
show examples
 implementation. My proficiency lies in data mining, customer needs perception, and
strategical
Replace the word
strategic
show examples
 market planning. Please find attached my resume, which provides
further
 details on my qualifications and work history. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to discuss potential opportunities with you. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully Antoine
Submitted by huaixiangdong on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the ideas flow logically from one to the other, adding transition words if necessary.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on greeting and closing statements to make them engage more directly with the letter's purpose and the recipient.
Coherence & Cohesion
Keep to one idea per paragraph, using clear topic sentences to introduce them. Avoid mingling different ideas within a single paragraph.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task, including providing specific examples of your skills and how they relate to the jobs you are interested in.
Task Achievement
Maintain a suitable tone throughout the letter, ensuring it's formal and professional, which you have generally achieved.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment agency
  • full-time job
  • industry
  • position level
  • responsibilities
  • relevant experience
  • job titles
  • achievements
  • technical skills
  • soft skills
  • certifications
  • training
  • eagerness
  • suitable candidate
  • availability
  • interviews
What to do next:
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