You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir/Madam

#job #employment #agency #sort #skills #sir #madam

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope

this

letter finds you well. My name is Antoine Huai and I am writing to express my interest in pursuing new career opportunities in the field of marketing. After getting an MBA degree, I have been working as a

markeing

Correct your spelling

marketing

manager in a leading

logistic

Fix the agreement mistake

logistics

show examples

company for eight years. I am a customer-centric person and my passion for business growth has driven me to acquire good analytical and creative skills. Currently, I am seeking

Change the article

show examples

higher-level position that would allow me to take on more responsibilities,

such

as a senior

markeing

Correct your spelling

marketing

manager role. Alternatively, I am

also

keen to explore chances in Fortune 500 companies like UPS or FedEx, where I could work with colleagues all over the world. In my current position, I have been primarily responsible for product portfolio design, rate setting, and new

product’s

Change noun form

product

show examples

implementation. My proficiency lies in data mining, customer needs perception, and

strategical

Replace the word

strategic

show examples

market planning. Please find attached my resume, which provides

further

details on my qualifications and work history. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to discuss potential opportunities with you. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully Antoine

Submitted by huaixiangdong on Fri Dec 01 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the ideas flow logically from one to the other, adding transition words if necessary.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on greeting and closing statements to make them engage more directly with the letter's purpose and the recipient.

Coherence & Cohesion

Keep to one idea per paragraph, using clear topic sentences to introduce them. Avoid mingling different ideas within a single paragraph.

Task Achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the task, including providing specific examples of your skills and how they relate to the jobs you are interested in.

Task Achievement

Maintain a suitable tone throughout the letter, ensuring it's formal and professional, which you have generally achieved.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

198 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir/Madam

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Nowadays many adults have full time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent on work is very high. Some of them are under high stress and ignore their other. What are cause and effects?

Due the advancement in computer technology the trend of working from home will bring a dramatic change to people’s lives. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.