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Band 4.5

Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #factor #happiness
In the modern society we are all
sorrounded
confined on all sides
surrounded
 by materialistic things and live in under
assumption
Suggestion
the assumption
 that
this
 greed will
makae
engage in
make
 us happy and contented
.
Accept space
.
Few individuals of a society believe that
money
 is vital in bringing
happiness
 to life. While some have arguments which say that
money
 has not relation with cheeriness In my
opinion I
Accept comma addition
opinion, I
 personally
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
 that
money
 does play some role in bringing
happiness
This
 essay will discuss in details my point of view
.
Accept space
.
To begin
 with, people commit their entire lives by working hard and earning
money
becuase
for the reason that; on account of
because
 they
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
belief
 that
money
 and
happiness
 are two sides of the coin. For
such
 folks
money
 is like a soul and one cannot gain
contenment
happiness with one's situation in life
contentment
containment
continent
 without it
.
Accept space
.
For instance
 People who find delight in travelling
at
Suggestion
in
 different places
,
Accept space
,
wearing branded clothes or having
a
Suggestion
an
 expensive dining would not be able to
savor
derive or receive pleasure from; get enjoyment from; take pleasure in
savour
 the same without
haveing
have or possess, either in a concrete or an abstract sense
having
 a cash in hand or in the bank. Another example For people who are
severly
to a severe or serious degree
severely
 sick and needs upscale medication, with
capital close
Accept comma addition
capital, close
 associates can buy
happiness
 for these people
.
Accept space
.
For
Suggestion
To
 them merriment and funds are closely related to each other and cannot image to live without it
.
Accept space
.
However
, People believe that
money
 cannot remove their sorrows and sufferings
For instance
, a mother who has lost her child in war,
money
 is of no value because her grievance and tears cannot be wiped through financial aid
she
Suggestion
She
 would feel
good
Suggestion
better
 by soothing words and sympathy. To
conclude I
Accept comma addition
conclude, I
 personally believe that
money
give
Suggestion
gives
 lots of
benefit
Suggestion
benefits
 to people in terms of their status and lifestyle.
but
Suggestion
But
 one should not relate
money
 as an important factor for prosperity
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by Manjot kaur on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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