IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#youth #crimes #parents #skills
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The modern society has witnessed a worryingly escalating rate of juvenile delinquency. To put a curb on
such
 a phenomenon, many people
endorse
Suggestion
endorses
 that equipping parents with parental skills is the optimal way. In
this
 essay, I accept that the aforementioned measure is beneficial to a certain extent, yet I would firmly advocate that other more viable solutions should be factored in.
To begin
 with, parents are considered as role models and most closely related to their children.
Therefore
, it is inevitable that young people can imitate and be
fluenced
formed or conceived by the imagination
fancied
fleeced
 by their father and mother's behaviour. Parents having good virtue may gear their kids towards
moral type
Suggestion
the moral type
a moral type
moral types
 of people through their daily activities and vice versa.
Nevertheless
,
this
 is
such
 a short-sighted view since parental skills are not the
last
 resort to reduce crime rate among the young. Modern life makes parents become busier without having time for their children.
As a result
,
youngsters contact
Accept comma addition
youngsters, contact
 their friends more, especially bad ones exerting bad implications on them and
thus
 they may accidentally commit crime due to their lack of awareness. Training parents with skills is not completely the optimal method to curtail juvenile delinquency.
On the other hand
, schools and the government can be contributing factors in the prevention and control of young crimes.
Firstly
, schools should add civic education on their curriculum in tandem with moral subjects to gain teenagers' awareness of society.
This
 can lead to understanding what their actual rights and responsibilities are and thereby being far more likely to have proper behaviours and
also
 to become engaged and knowledgeable citizens.
Besides
, the government need to establish vocational schools for the unemployed who are more likely to embark on criminal life due to financial problems.
As a result
, those may derive myriad benefits from the
course making
Accept comma addition
course, making
subtantial
fairly large
substantial
 devotion to the decrease of juvenile delinquency
such
 as gaining practical experiences and getting well-paid jobs. By and large, while parents have
influence
Suggestion
an influence
 on teenagers, I would contend that both schools and the government
also
 play a crucial part in supporting to mitigate crime rate among the young.
Submitted by Anh Thư Trần Lê on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • equip
  • psychological
  • constructively
  • foster
  • empowered
  • isolated
  • escalation
  • multi-faceted approach
  • eradicate
  • peer influence
  • socio-economic status
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