SOME PEOPLE USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND NEWS EVENT. DO YOU THINK THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS TECHNOLOGY OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES.

#people #media #touch #news #event #technology

Nowadays

technology

is becoming more and more useful to youth.

However

, a certain number of people tend to utilize social media for conversations with others and

used

Verb problem

apply

show examples

for crucial

news

around the world. I believe that its advantages are overlapping its disadvantages. There are a plethora of advantages of

technology

Firstly

, people can share information in a short time period

as well as

over long distances. To explain it more, in the modern era, if a person lives in a foreign country, family members o friends can talk with them through various apps

such

as Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram, and Gmail.

For instance

, 80% of students use applications for different futures like video calls, and video

call

Fix the agreement mistake

calls

show examples

because it is the cheapest way, or if they choose calling

then

they want to pay a large amount of money for roaming.

Moreover

, people can get crucial

news

from the internet by which update themselves. To explicate, the internet has its own benefits

such

as the masses can see the latest

news

on mobile phones to compare with Television, because the

news

is broadcast in the evening not at a time.

In addition

this

, technologies are helping us in every sector.

For example

, in India, most machinery in Factories and Mills runs automatically by using

technology

setup.

As a result

, factory owners do not need to hire more experts for machinery. In conclusion, individuals are more reliant on

technology

nowadays because it helps us in many ways

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Task Achievement

Make sure to carefully address both sides of the argument. While you've discussed the advantages, consider elaborating more on the disadvantages for a balanced response.

Task Achievement

Try to develop your ideas fully. Each paragraph introduces good points, but further explanation or a wider range of examples could strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to show clearer connections between your ideas for improved coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all following sentences support that main idea for better cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

real-time updates
global connectivity
professional networking
fake news
misinformation
social media addiction
mental health issues
privacy concerns
personal information
viral content

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SOME PEOPLE USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND NEWS EVENT. DO YOU THINK THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS TECHNOLOGY OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Too much money is spent in maintaining and repairing old buildings. Some people think that they should be knocked down and give way to the modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The increase in the elderly population makes it difficult for taxpayers. What should be the solution?

Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of poverty in many countries is to set up businesses and improve trade links with rich countries.