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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that education system is the only critical factor to the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Many people believe that
education
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 is the most important factor for a
country
Use synonyms
's development. I personally agree that
education
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 is one of the most important components for the growth of any
country
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, but there are other crucial factors that should be considered by the government and the people. The following paragraphs will explain in details about both views and will show my position on
this
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 issue. On the one hand, it is true that
education
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 plays an important
role
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 in the progress of a nation. As more and more people become educated, common
society
Suggestion
societal
 issues will soon be decreasing.
For example
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, in the past, the percentage of illiterate people in China
was
Suggestion
were
 around 50%.
Consequently
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, many of the people were living in poverty as most of their occupation
were
Suggestion
was
 low skill workers with low incomes. But
then
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 the government realised these inconvenient conditions and tried to develop the
education
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 system. Some of the programs were giving free educations for the children and providing scholarships for scientists and engineers.
As a result
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, the
country
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 has experienced a significant increase in the economic sectors, and now China plays a significant
role
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 in the world economy.
On the other hand
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, there are other factors that should be improved and one of them would be
health
Suggestion
healthier
healthy
. Countries that have a good
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 system will have healthier
residents which
Accept comma addition
residents, which
 affect the productivity of the labours. Another crucial factor would be technology as it plays a significant
role
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 in the development of a
country
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 in
this
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 modern era.
For example
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, agricultural countries that use technology for their farming activities will be more productive than the old fashioned ones. As they use tools
such
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 as tractors and bulldozers, they will be faster in planting and cultivating their lands compared to the traditional ones. In conclusion, I disagree if
education
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 is the only factor that would develop a nation. I do believe that
education
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 plays an important
role
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 in the development of a
country
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, but there are other factors that should be considered by the government as well,
such
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 as health and technology.

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