Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different ages and cultures together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #ages #cultures

In the modern era, the issue of

music

has become highly controversial. There are those who say that

music

can connect people who have different ages and cultures.

However

, others believe that it should not. In

this

essay, I will examine both sides of the arguments and provide my overall opinion. Generally speaking, there are two main reasons why people believe that sharing

music

should be able to collect different people. Perhaps the main reason why people are in

favor

promote over another

favour

this

phenomenon is that people can share their

favorites

something regarded with special favor or liking

favourites

favourite

and enjoy without communicating. To be specific, if people want to share the pleasure about your

favorite

something regarded with special favor or liking

favourite

music

with other people who have a different language, people will be able to share earphone and dancing without talking. A

further

point in

favor

promote over another

favour

of sharing

music

, people can make a good relationship with the elderly.

This

is because, in modern society, old

music

has increased population in young people.

For example

, if teenagers like

music

about launched 1990’s, they will ask the information and singer about

music

for their parents. Despite, these challenges, it must be said there are several arguments against

this

Firstly

, it is impossible that people be collected by

music

. Specifically, some people are not interested in

music

. In contemporary, there are many media,

such

music

and films.

Therefore

, due to having various interests,

music

cannot use a good method of bringing people of different ages.

In addition

, films and books are more public media in the world because they are transited their language. A

second

reason, some age group

dislikes special

Accept comma addition

dislikes, special

music

genre

such

as rock. They do not like loud

music

in store. There is not something about connecting between the elderly and young people through

music

. In conclusion, it is clear

this

is a topic which is very relevant to modern society.

Music

is not an excellent way of bringing people of different age group and cultures. If people want to make friends, there are various methods

such

as films and books. (40분)

Submitted by 최혜진 on Sun Jun 07 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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