Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do advantages of this trend outweigh disadvantages

#people #children #life #trend

In recent years, the decision of having children later has become

increasingly popular trend

Suggestion

an increasingly popular trend

. There are several reasons for

this

phenomenon and I do believe

this

has some obvious drawbacks for each family and our community. There are two main reasons why these days more young adults are choosing against having children when they are in the beginning stage of career.

Firstly

instead

of embarking on parenthood at the early age, modern women are likely to

pursuit

Suggestion

pursue

tertiary education and want to move up their own career ladder. If they got married and had

baby

Suggestion

babies

, the

workings

Suggestion

working

mothers would find difficulties in both splitting their time to devote working and taking care their offspring.

Secondly

young childless family

Suggestion

a young childless family

young childless families

may have a strong feeling of self-enjoyment.

This

lead

Suggestion

leads

them to prefer enjoying their life rather than by raising children.

For example

, many men may choose to go oversea for leisure travel or for own business while women are apt to take care of their body and socialize with their friends.

On the other hand

, delaying giving birth is no longer every family‘s private

affair but

Accept comma addition

affair, but

also

it affects strongly the survival of a whole nation.

This

tendency has negative influence on old parents and their future kids when the wives decide to have pregnancies. In fact, after 35 years of age,

the old

Suggestion

older

mothers may tackle with the danger of having

miscarriage

Suggestion

a miscarriage

or delivering difficultly the baby.

Moreover

, in case there an easy delivery of the mothers, the babies are prone to be at risk of having Down‘s syndrome.

As a result

this

can negatively affect the shapers of a nation’s tomorrow and the quality of our future productive workforce. In conclusion, there are some reasons that many people tend to delay having

baby

Suggestion

babies

in their life

Accept space

Consequently

this

might have negative effects on each

individuals

Suggestion

individual

families and our society at large.

Submitted by Ngo Doris on Mon Jun 08 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prioritization
financial stability
educational prospects
personal development
health advancements
fertility options
economic uncertainties
parenthood
societal norms
life experience
generational gap
upbringing

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