Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

Today, making more money by sportsmen than workers from significant calling is a hotly debated topic. Some people think it is

unjusted but

Accept comma addition

ingested, but

ingested but

another disagrees. There are strong arguments in favour of both opinions. I

personaly

as yourself

personally

think that crucial professions should be paid more salary. There are several professional sports where players earn too much money than it should be

particular

Suggestion

particularly

football players. It is

unexplicable

incapable of being explained or accounted for

inexplicable

why they have so great salaries. They are not saving people's

lifes

a characteristic state or mode of living

lives

or staving off the

banes

a percussion instrument consisting of a pair of hollow pieces of wood or bone (usually held between the thumb and fingers) that are made to click together (as by Spanish dancers) in rhythm with the dance

bones

. Their work is like a hobby.

On the other hand

the life of

professional

Suggestion

the professional

a professional

is not so fabulous as they could think. They are working out 7 days a week. They dedicate their

life

Suggestion

lives

sport

Suggestion

the sport

and repeatedly the players sustain different injuries. It is certainly true that many crucial professions are not so high-paid,

although

their job does a world of good. The obvious

example can

Accept comma addition

example, can

be doctors and other

healthy

Suggestion

health

staffs. There are some reasons to pay them better. They treat people, make surgeries sometimes during several hours, they often are on duty.

However they

Accept comma addition

However, they

become low salary. Another good example could be firemen. They handle fire, save people, their houses, their property.

In contrast

with professionals their work is not so

worthful

causing hurt

hurtful

youthful

. In conclusion, I believe the situation will change one day. It would be more justified if significant jobs were paid more than all sports professionals.

Submitted by Ruzana Meretukova on Mon Jun 08 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

233 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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