Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

#people #success #career #education

A lot of individuals think that being successful means attracting good career prospects and gaining higher education.

Consequently

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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people measure

success

in monetary terms.

However

, from my perspective, achievements should rather bring happiness. First and foremost, different people treat

success

differently. For some, it is gaining financial freedom and creating a luxurious lifestyle, whilst for others it is having a well-paying job and being able to support a minimal lifestyle; but, it is

dependant

Replace the word

dependent

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on the availability of funds for most of us.

For example

according to

American ideology, how successful a person is, is directly proportional to the person's wealth. Good schooling and jobs eventually lead to good salaried packages, which are valued by

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society predominantly.

Therefore

, many evaluate financial status to become an elite member of the society and they achieve it by working hard in their jobs and studying. In my opinion,

success

should

instead

be calculated in terms of happiness.

For instance

, Bhutan,

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

the only country which calculates its GDP considering how happy the citizens are and not their spending power. It is

thus

reported to be the happiest nation on earth and citizens are healthier in comparison to other places.

Subsequently

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

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spirituality is crucial as it leads to a life free of prejudices and comparison. Considering that people who are genuinely satisfied with their lives don't run for monetary

success

and are in turn content on the inside. In conclusion, humans often consider careers and education to be rewarding and place

success

at various levels, but majorly look through financial capabilities.

Nevertheless

, from my point of view, happiness is the key to

gain

Wrong verb form

gaining

show examples

satisfaction.

Submitted by bidingmehakjot on Sat Oct 05 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide a variety of specific examples to illustrate different perspectives on success.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each main point is clearly supported with specific details or examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion nicely.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is strong, and the essay's ideas flow well from one paragraph to the next.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt thoroughly and provides a well-rounded discussion of different views on success.

task achievement

The arguments are clearly comprehensive and address the topic effectively.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

fulfillment
personal goals
happiness
career milestones
professional development
financial independence
security
philanthropy
contribution
personal development
recognition
work-life balance
self-improvement
well-being
subjective

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Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Some people think that meat is bad for health . Do you agree or disagree ?

Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, students take a year off finishing school should students take a gap year before attending university? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people believe that men and woman are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for woman. What’s your opinion?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are important as to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?