Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

#people #success #career #education

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A lot of individuals think that being successful means attracting good career prospects and gaining higher education.

Consequently

Linking Words

, most

Change preposition

apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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people measure

success

Use synonyms

in monetary terms.

However

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, from my perspective, achievements should rather bring happiness. First and foremost, different people treat

success

Use synonyms

differently. For some, it is gaining financial freedom and creating a luxurious lifestyle, whilst for others it is having a well-paying job and being able to support a minimal lifestyle; but, it is

dependant

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dependent

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on the availability of funds for most of us.

For example

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according to

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American ideology, how successful a person is, is directly proportional to the person's wealth. Good schooling and jobs eventually lead to good salaried packages, which are valued by

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society predominantly.

Therefore

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, many evaluate financial status to become an elite member of the society and they achieve it by working hard in their jobs and studying. In my opinion,

success

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should

instead

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be calculated in terms of happiness.

For instance

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, Bhutan,

being

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the only country which calculates its GDP considering how happy the citizens are and not their spending power. It is

thus

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reported to be the happiest nation on earth and citizens are healthier in comparison to other places.

Subsequently

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practicing

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practising

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spirituality is crucial as it leads to a life free of prejudices and comparison. Considering that people who are genuinely satisfied with their lives don't run for monetary

success

Use synonyms

and are in turn content on the inside. In conclusion, humans often consider careers and education to be rewarding and place

success

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at various levels, but majorly look through financial capabilities.

Nevertheless

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, from my point of view, happiness is the key to

gain

Wrong verb form

gaining

show examples

satisfaction.

Submitted by bidingmehakjot on Sat Oct 05 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide a variety of specific examples to illustrate different perspectives on success.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each main point is clearly supported with specific details or examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion nicely.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is strong, and the essay's ideas flow well from one paragraph to the next.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt thoroughly and provides a well-rounded discussion of different views on success.

task achievement

The arguments are clearly comprehensive and address the topic effectively.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fulfillment
personal goals
happiness
career milestones
professional development
financial independence
security
philanthropy
contribution
personal development
recognition
work-life balance
self-improvement
well-being
subjective

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Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this

Part 2 Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Other think that those who contribute to society like scientist and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?