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Writing Samples
Band 8

These days, poverty has become a serious issue around the world. What are the problems that can occur because of this issue and suggest some solutions to overcome this problem

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Recently, many people are suffering from poverty around the world.
As a result
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,
this
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 increases health issues and the crime rate, but
this
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 can be solved by offering more job opportunities and providing free healthcare. One
problem
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 that can be noted is that people do not have enough food and water.
In other words
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, many families cannot afford good and healthy meals or drink clean water.
For example
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, in poor countries,
children
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 often go to bed hungry, and because of that, they become sick.
Hence
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, if they do not have enough food,
this
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 will hurt their health. Another
problem
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 is that poverty makes it hard for
children
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 to go to school.
That is
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 to say,
children
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 in poor families cannot go to school
due to
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 their parents needing them to work
instead
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 of studying to help them. One effective solution to
this
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problem
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 is that the government should provide free
education
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 for poor
children
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. Simply put,
this
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 allows kids to go to school without paying.
For instance
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, some countries offer free
education
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 which helps more
children
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 to learn.
Therefore
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, giving free
education
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 can help kids get good jobs in the future. Another solution is that the government should create more jobs.
This
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 can be useful by providing job training.
However
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, we must ensure they pay enough so that people can rise out of poverty and have a better life.
To sum up
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,
this
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 issue can lead to poor health and limited
education
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. Yet, by providing free
education
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 and creating more jobs,
this
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problem
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 can be solved.

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Task Achievement
Try to expand on your solutions with more specific actions or programs that might be implemented by governments or organizations, providing a greater sense of feasibility.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay's points and arguments are distinct and not overly repetitive. Consider introducing more varied perspectives to enrich your discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Increase usage of more complex sentences and variety in your expression, avoiding repeated sentence structures for enhanced engagement.
Task Achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the task, presenting both problems and solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is structured well with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, aiding in reader comprehension.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples, such as children going to bed hungry in poor countries, effectively illustrate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty line
  • socioeconomic status
  • basic needs
  • underprivileged
  • economic disparity
  • access to resources
  • vulnerable populations
  • income inequality
  • social safety nets
  • sustainable development
  • infrastructure development
  • holistic approach
  • capacity building
  • economic empowerment
  • vocational training
  • microcredit
  • community development
  • humanitarian aid
  • food insecurity
  • public welfare programs
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