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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that children should be brought up in cities, others believe that the countryside offers a better environment for children.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There are numerous factors that are to be considered
while
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 raising
kids
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 for the
overall
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 development of the
children
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.
While
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 few have an opinion that it is beneficial for
children
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 if their upbringing is done in
cities
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, others are of the belief that the countryside has an upper hand in
this
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 case.I,
however
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, believe that
cities
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 are more beneficial. Apparently, the foremost aim of the parents is excellent educational facilities for their child and developed and big
cities
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 can often fulfil
this
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.
Thus
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, people prefer shifting to the
cities
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 when their
children
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 are of age to start schooling.
Additionally
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, parents encourage their
kids
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 to start pursuing hobbies from childhood days and they are easier to pursue in
cities
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due to
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 better infrastructure.
For instance
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, a thought is
also
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 given that
cities
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 can provide their
kids
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 with better part-time options as compared to small towns and villages.
Therefore
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, the
cities
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 are generally preferred as they provide extra exposure and an abundance of opportunities for the
kids
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. Contrastingly, small towns and villages can provide
Add an article
an immense
the immense
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immense
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immensely
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 better environment with less pollution.
Likewise
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,
children
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 have access to pure water and even
home grown
Correct your spelling
homegrown
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 organic fruits and vegetables, which is not the case in metropolitans.
In addition
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 to
this
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, homes in
cities
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 are usually confined to small apartments
due to
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high
Correct article usage
the high
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 price of land,
whereas
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 it is exactly
opposite
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the opposite
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 in
case
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the case
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 of countryside houses as they have plenty of space which allows a child to play outdoor games
instead
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 of computer and mobile games.
Thus
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, detrimental health effects and scant houses in the city foster parents to settle outside
cities
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. In a nutshell, there are significant benefits for both and it is
highly
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a highly
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 contentious topic, but in my view, I would prefer
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 as it provides a plethora of chances, which can definitely have a prodigious positive impact on the future and career of the child.

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task response
Please ensure that you fully address the prompt with a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more coherently and using cohesive devices effectively to connect your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban upbringing
  • cultural diversity
  • serene environment
  • open-mindedness
  • adaptability
  • health and wellbeing
  • quality education
  • healthcare facilities
  • sense of community
  • independence
  • creativity
  • physical and mental wellbeing
  • social bonds
  • enrichment
  • exposure
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