Some people believe that children should be brought up in cities, others believe that the countryside offers a better environment for children.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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while
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raising
kids
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for the
overall
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development of the
children
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.
While
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few have an opinion that it is beneficial for
children
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if their upbringing is done in
cities
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, others are of the belief that the countryside has an upper hand in
this
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case.I,
however
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, believe that
cities
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are more beneficial. Apparently, the foremost aim of the parents is excellent educational facilities for their child and developed and big
cities
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can often fulfil
this
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.
Thus
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, people prefer shifting to the
cities
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when their
children
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are of age to start schooling.
Additionally
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, parents encourage their
kids
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to start pursuing hobbies from childhood days and they are easier to pursue in
cities
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due to
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better infrastructure.
For instance
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, a thought is
also
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given that
cities
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can provide their
kids
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with better part-time options as compared to small towns and villages.
Therefore
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, the
cities
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are generally preferred as they provide extra exposure and an abundance of opportunities for the
kids
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. Contrastingly, small towns and villages can provide
Add an article
an immense
the immense

The noun phrase immense better environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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immense
Change the word
immensely

Immense seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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better environment with less pollution.
Likewise
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,
children
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have access to pure water and even
home grown
Correct your spelling
homegrown

The word home grown seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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organic fruits and vegetables, which is not the case in metropolitans.
In addition
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to
this
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, homes in
cities
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are usually confined to small apartments
due to
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high
Correct article usage
the high

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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price of land,
whereas
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it is exactly
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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in
case
Correct article usage
the case

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of countryside houses as they have plenty of space which allows a child to play outdoor games
instead
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of computer and mobile games.
Thus
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, detrimental health effects and scant houses in the city foster parents to settle outside
cities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In a nutshell, there are significant benefits for both and it is
highly
Add an article
a highly

The noun phrase highly contentious topic seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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contentious topic, but in my view, I would prefer
city
Correct article usage
the city

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
as it provides a plethora of chances, which can definitely have a prodigious positive impact on the future and career of the child.

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task response
Please ensure that you fully address the prompt with a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more coherently and using cohesive devices effectively to connect your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban upbringing
  • cultural diversity
  • serene environment
  • open-mindedness
  • adaptability
  • health and wellbeing
  • quality education
  • healthcare facilities
  • sense of community
  • independence
  • creativity
  • physical and mental wellbeing
  • social bonds
  • enrichment
  • exposure
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