Some people think that nowadays children have too much freedom. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom

At present all communication and technology increase

rapidly

Accept comma addition

rapidly, therefore

therefore

youth

can do their home tasks by the computer or other one

as a result

their spare

time

much

then

past

Accept space

To my mind for children have

many

Suggestion

much

free

time

because they only do their

homeworks

Suggestion

homework

Accept space

eat something when they are hungry

Accept space

sleep when

then

are tired and play some

vidio

the visible part of a television transmission

video

games when they are bored. But in the past people do not have washing machines or robots to help some hard work to do people's

time

afficient

being effective without wasting time or effort or expense

efficient

Accept space

Moreover

Accept space

parents should

controll

power to direct or determine

control

the

youth

time

and to help them to do some problems when

then

need parent's one.

However

, many

youth

try

Suggestion

tries

to take different tutorial lessons to get the best knowledge and want to be

professional person

Suggestion

a professional person

in their job

Accept space

however

at least 70 % children choose to sit at home and play different online games during their free

time

or chatting online with their friends

Accept space

But many parents

wont

feel or have a desire for; want strongly

want

went

wants

to see their children as a

best

Suggestion

good

better

peson

a human being

person

in the future and

giva

cause to have, in the abstract sense or physical sense

give

gives

them various online or practical lessons

Accept space

Our world developing day by day and communication too

therefore

our government

wont

Suggestion

wants

want

wanted

to pay attention children's future life as they are our future

developers

Suggestion

development

and our life belong

for

Suggestion

them

Accept space

Therefore our

Accept comma addition

Therefore, our

president

try

Suggestion

tries

to give more

chanse

a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances

chance

chances

for

youth

and in 2007 year he did all institution exams easier as much as possible.

Nowadays in

Accept comma addition

Nowadays, in

our

cuntry

a politically organized body of people under a single government

country

county

century

openes

cause to open or to become open

opens

opened

many

and differen universities

Suggestion

different universities and

and different universities

and differing universities

which are cooperation foreign universities

Accept space

They are very popular and they have very important faculties to improve our country and

produse

bring forth or yield

produce

produces

produced

very intelligent

people which

Accept comma addition

people, which

are

help to government

Suggestion

helping government

helping to government

to increase

it's

of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"

its

industry and other sections. To conclude,

refers to the speaker or writer

wont

feel or have a desire for; want strongly

want

wanted

went

to say that children do not have free

time

to spend their

time

Suggestion

for

the latest things or different crimes, as we have enough

chanse

a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances

chance

chances

to be

better person

Suggestion

a better person

better people

the better person

without crime

furthermore

children do not

wont

feel or have a desire for; want strongly

want

to spent

Suggestion

to spend

theirn

of them or themselves

their

free

time

because all

youth

want

Suggestion

wants

to be

enroll various

Suggestion

enrolled in various

enrolled various

universities while they too hurry to enter

this

kind of universities.

Submitted by Aziza on Tue Jun 09 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

350 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that nowadays children have too much freedom. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

As smoking is banned at public places , some people say that this rule should also be imposed on mobile phones. What extent do you agree or disagree.

The advantages brought by the spread of English as a global language will outweigh the disdavantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the view

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