IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think their parents should teach children how to he good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is always some argument about who is responsible for making a
child
Use synonyms
 as
best member
Suggestion
the best member
 of our society. Some consider that a parent should be the
one
Use synonyms
 as they spend most of their time with the
child
Use synonyms
, While other people think that it should be taught in school. In my opinion, teaching social values should begin at home and has
to strengthened
Suggestion
to be strengthened
 by the educational institutes.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
child
Use synonyms
 learns the importance of social values
from
Suggestion
of
 their parents.
This
Linking Words
 is because at a young age, they usually idolize their parents and when the parents do their duties correctly, they tend to learn
this
Linking Words
 from them.
For example
Linking Words
, when people make charitable help
to
Suggestion
of
 their community, they often influence their
child
Use synonyms
 to do the same when they grow up.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, schools are the
one
Use synonyms
 who shapes young minds.
In other words
Linking Words
, the
child
Use synonyms
 learns their duties and responsibilities
from
Suggestion
of
 their teachers, and they are the
one
Use synonyms
 who makes them understand it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some universities have even included Social Science as common subjects in their curriculum in which they teach the importance of social activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, students are often provided with community services as a part of their studies to make them understand their role in
this
Linking Words
 world
Finally
Linking Words
, I believe parents play a major role in making a
child
Use synonyms
 a better person and the colleges are the
one
Use synonyms
 who advances
this
Linking Words
 quality and transforms a
child
Use synonyms
 a good member of
this
Linking Words
 society. To conclude, I think a
child
Use synonyms
 is made a better social member by parents at initial stages and by teachers at later part.
Submitted by Gomathi Ev on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: