The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction

It is undoubted that having a convenient quality of life has always been a crucial purpose for scientific inventors. By favouring

this

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groundbreaking advancement, individuals can benefit from various advantages

Change preposition

show examples

related applications.

However

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, it might have a negative influence on our mental health if

people

Use synonyms

excessively rely on it. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate on my perspective with examples below.

Body paragraph 1

Nowadays, progressive medication developments can reduce the majority of risk from physical disease effectively.

For example

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, patients can get formal therapy and medical recommendations from doctors

due to

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the popularization of medical improvements.

Thus

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, as long as

people

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follow the instructions from medical employees properly, there is no concern about getting severe physical diseases which will cause death.

Body paragraph 2

However

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, if we use

this

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technological advancement without control,

such

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as mobile phones and social media, it might bring about a negative impact on our mental health.

For instance

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, researchers have proved that the percentage of mental illnesses dramatically skyrockets in a decade, especially in teenagers,

due to

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the overuse of social media platforms. It is quite common for

people

Use synonyms

to reveal their bright sides on social media in order to get attention,

however

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, it will cause a problem with low self-esteem and dissatisfaction by constant comparison.

Thus

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, individuals probably will suffer from mental diseases

such

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as anxiety and depression in the end.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

although

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scientific innovations can assist individuals to have better quality of medication indeed, there remains a potential risk of getting mental disorders if we cannot apply them consciously. Only if

people

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strike a harmonious balance between technology and desire, can we dominate our lives

instead

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of being controlled by technology.

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Mar 25, 2025

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task achievement

Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your position on the statement. You could directly state to what extent you agree or disagree with the aim of science.

task achievement

In your body paragraphs, ensure each idea is fully explored. While you give clear examples, try to deepen your analysis of how these examples support your main points.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will help create a smoother reading experience.

coherence and cohesion

Consider rephrasing some sentences to avoid repetition and to improve clarity. Varying your vocabulary can make your writing more engaging.

task achievement

Good use of relevant examples related to both physical and mental health to illustrate your points.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your arguments.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In many countries tourism is an important part of the economy, but it also causes environmental damage. Some people believe that tourists should pay an additional tax to compensate for this damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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