IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Every country should have a free health service even if this means that the latest treatments may not be available through this service because they are too expensive. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#country #health #service #treatments
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Receiving proper
health
Use synonyms
 care is one of the basic needs
in
Suggestion
of
 the modern society. Some people argue that countries should have free
health
Use synonyms
 insurance service even though the cutting-edge medical advancements might not be available as there won’t be enough budget.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate how a country can have free
health
Use synonyms
 benefits without compromising
availability
Suggestion
the availability
 of modern medical research and techniques.
Firstly
Linking Words
, research in the medical domain is not dependent on the money received from the patient as part of their hospital bills. In fact, pharmaceutical companies and drug manufacturers are the primary providers for developing new methodologies in
this
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 sector.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent research from the Vietnamese
health
Use synonyms
 non-governmental organization shows that 95% of the time, developing a new method for a specialized treatment is funded by private companies. In short, free
health
Use synonyms
 service and using recent advancement are not mutually exclusive.
Secondly
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, not all the latest and greatest treatments are expensive. With the rapid expansion of disruptive technologies
such
Linking Words
 as deep learning and machine learning, many expensive medical procedures cost a fraction now as compared to before.
For example
Linking Words
, a study from Hanoi Medical University confirms that 85% of the various full body imaging tests, once considered one of the most expensive procedure, cost only one tenth now compared to the price in 2015. In conclusion, most of the advancements in
medical area
Suggestion
the medical area
 is not dependent on the
health
Use synonyms
 care budget as those are privately funded and not all the latest medical processes are costly.
Hence
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, receiving free or cheap
health
Use synonyms
 benefits can be achievable without cutting down the newest available medical treatments.
Submitted by Mít tờ Nguyễn on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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