The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #strain #health #care #system #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Obesity is a common problem among youngsters today, due to the habit of eating junk food and lack of

excercise

the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit

exercise

. In order to tackle the problem, some people state that physical

education

should be introduced in

school

. I completely agree, that physical

excercise

the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit

exercise

should be integrated

Suggestion

into

school

curriculum,

reasons

Suggestion

the reasons

for which, I shall give

further

in the essay. In recent times, children are spending more

time

on their screens and less

time

is spend playing outdoor sports

therefore

this

lack of excercise is the cause of children being overweight, thereby by making physical

education

essential part of

school

curriculum would mean that the children learn to enjoy outdoor activities from a early stage of life and thereby inculcating good habits among the young.

For

example in

Accept comma addition

example, in

my own

school we

Accept comma addition

school, we

had half an hour of

manadatory

required by rule

mandatory

sports period.

Also

, another good reason is that, physical

education

helps identify talented students in the field of sports. Many famous sportsmen /women got selected at

school level

Suggestion

the school level

itself to play for big teams. Some people

however

have an opposing viewpoint, wherein they believe that sports is

waste

Suggestion

a waste

time

and schools should be more academic focus rather than wasting

time

in teaching kids physical

education

. They believe that schools focus on subjects like maths,

pschology

the science of mental life

psychology

, which would help them in their career paths.

However

, having said that, A list universities require the students to not only have excellent scores but

also

have

well rounded personality

Suggestion

a well rounded personality

. To conclude, having discussed both the view points, In my opinion physical

education

is important to be taught to

school

children in order to encourage good habits from a young age.

Also

, to help develop their skills if they are sports

inclinded

(often followed by 'to') having a preference, disposition, or tendency

inclined

Submitted by soji on Sat Jun 13 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries goverment are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why this is happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of goverment money?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

In recent years, “responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in studies. what are the causes and its solution?