The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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I agree that the working week should be shorter, allowing for a longer weekend.
This
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change would significantly benefit both
employees
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' well-being and their work performance. A reduction in working days and an increase in leisure time would provide crucial mental respite, leading to improved productivity and a decrease in
health
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risks associated with
stress
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and
pressure
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. Longer weekends enable
employees
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to engage in enjoyable activities,
such
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as spending time with loved ones or pursuing hobbies. These activities release endorphins, contributing to a positive mental state.
This
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improved mood translates to increased focus and productivity at work. Many studies have shown that
employees
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are often more productive at the beginning of the week than
at the end
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, suggesting that adequate
rest
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is essential for optimal performance.
Furthermore
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, sufficient
rest
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is crucial for reducing
stress
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and
pressure
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. Chronic
stress
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can lead to serious
health
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problems, including high blood
pressure
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and heart disease. The body's ability to cope with daily demands is diminished by constant
pressure
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, resulting in a heightened risk of
such
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conditions. Providing
employees
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with adequate
rest
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time is a vital preventative measure against these
health
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issues. The alarming recent increase in the number of
employees
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experiencing heart problems underscores the urgency of addressing
this
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issue. In conclusion, extending
rest
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days is essential for improving both employee well-being and workplace productivity. A clear mind, fostered by engaging in enjoyable activities during a longer weekend, is vital for increased focus and performance.
Conversely
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, the detrimental effects of excessive work-related
stress
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and
pressure
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on physical and mental
health
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cannot be ignored.
Therefore
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, a shorter working week with a longer weekend is a necessary step towards a healthier and more productive workforce.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on points with more specific examples or case studies to further strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay flows well, ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main argument to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Your essay presents a strong argument in favor of a shorter working week and effectively addresses the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that presents your argument well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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