IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
As is very well-known, rich countries often take the initiative to donate
money
 to poorer countries as help or for return of benefit at a later time when they might require it. But often
this
 falls short of what's actually required to improve the state of things in the poorer nations. They do more than often require the
money
 provided to them, but what
the richer
Suggestion
the rich
 nations fail to realize is that the poorer nations need a revamp of their education systems at
first
 to improve the overall thinking skills and problem solving. Education can lead to long-term solvency as they are able to catch up with the actual skills required in today's workforce. Technology plays a big part in society today, and consumerism has shifted greatly towards it. Once the physiological and familial needs of the human are met, all we really need is what we, as a blanket term, call "entertainment". Since technology has revolutionized the workplace as well as entertainment, it is imperative that the richer countries provide
technological
Suggestion
technology
 access and training to the poorer nations. While
money
 can solve a nation's short-term problems, it'll deplete some time or the other if the poorer nation doesn't do anything with it other than paying for their food and lodging with it. Corruption is inevitable in most governments, especially those that of poorer nations,
thus
 the donated
money
 are not even completely used for social services properly, including but not limited to electricity, food, agriculture, education. Rich countries should rather lend out loans,
thus
 making the country at least pay it back in the future since liquidity cannot be fixed with monetary donations. As for philanthropy, donating machinery and establishing their business operations there along with providing proper training can
also
 help raise the standards of the workforce of the nation, bringing them up to par with the competitive world.
Submitted by krgen01 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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