IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Far too little has been done to prevent animals and plants from dying out. Why do people do so little about it? How can the problem be solved.

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As it is essential to respect and conserve these flora and fauna,
this
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naturally lead
Suggestion
naturally leads
 us to question why the effort to prevent them from going into extinction has been so low. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the reasons why man is not doing much to save them and
also
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, proffer some possible solutions.
To begin
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, the predominant factor is mostly due to greed and unawareness of the importance of the ecosystem.
In
Suggestion
On
 a quest to live very comfortable, human has resulted to poaching of wildlife and sale them in the black market to make money for themselves.
For
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example animals
Accept comma addition
example, animals
 like tigers and crocodiles are being hunted for their skins while elephants are poached for their tusks.
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Moreover these
Accept comma addition
Moreover, these
 plants and animals are
also
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 used for medical research
thus
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 leading to
reduction
Suggestion
a reduction
 in their number dramatically.
However
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, most people are ignorant of the importance of
this
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 living things because they fell to understand that we need each other to survive;
hence
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 continuous deforestation will gradually cause emission of enormous amounts of carbon
dioxide which
Accept comma addition
dioxide, which
 is one of the major causes of global warming
subsequently
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 making the earth less habitable to dwell in.
Nevertheless
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, there are potential factors to solve
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, creating awareness of the importance of the ecosystem is very crucial. The youngsters should be taught the necessity of respecting and conserving the nature
from
Suggestion
of
 primary schools.
Secondly
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, if possible government should promulgate a law that will see to the protection of these
wildlife thereby
Accept comma addition
wildlife, thereby
 ensuring they are not tampered with and
finally
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, man should
also
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 be made to know that disrupting the food chain can be detrimental to their very existence unless it is stopped. In conclusion, it is evident that human activities are the major cause of the disappearance of the plant and animals and people are not doing enough to stop it because they are not seeing anything morally wrong
.
Accept space
.
Hence
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, creating awareness and disciplinary action by the government should be the considered.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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