IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

traffic and housing problems in major cities can be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #cities #companies #factories #employees #countryside
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many big cities,
traffic
Use synonyms
 and housing issues always raise some discussion nowadays. Some people believe that moving large companies and their employees to the countryside is an effective solution to these problems. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
Firstly
Linking Words
, relocating big enterprises and their
staff
Use synonyms
 could make the
traffic
Use synonyms
 more crowed. As most constructions like supermarkets, cafes, and gyms are located in cities, many
staff
Use synonyms
 highly likely keep living in towns in order to have a reasonable quality of life.
This
Linking Words
 means those people who take public transportation to commute before have no choice but to drive private cars because of the undeveloped public transportation in rural area.
As a result
Linking Words
, the burden of
traffic
Use synonyms
 would rise.
Secondly
Linking Words
, moving big companies and their employees out of a town tends to strengthen housing problems. There is no doubt that those big companies have a great competitive force in the areas they located. Were they moved out, there would be fewer competitions for small firms, which would encourage people to start more business.
This
Linking Words
 means the other employees would be recruited
into
Suggestion
in
this
Linking Words
 major city. Plus the big companies’
staff
Use synonyms
 who
keep
Suggestion
keeps
 living in the town, the house demanding would show a sharp increase, which will definitely cause more problems in the housing issues. In conclusion, moving out big enterprises and their
staff
Use synonyms
 of big cities can only make a few employees live out the towns, and the population in the cities will still rise.
Thus
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of solving
traffic
Use synonyms
 and housing problems,
this
Linking Words
 method can strengthen the problems.
Submitted by 方国帅 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: