some people think to produce a happier society, we must ensure there is only a small difference in earnings between the rich and the poor. To what extent do you agree?"

#people #society #difference #earnings

The difference in

earning

the excess of revenues over outlays in a given period of time (including depreciation and other non-cash expenses)

earnings

between rich people and poor people is a problem in

society

these days. Some people believe that minimizing the range of people’s

income

will create a happier

society

This

essay will argue why ensuring that making people’s

income

rates close together is an unfair idea and why it will not produce a happy

society

. Some people think that minimize the gap between the rich and the poor is a great idea to make

society

happier.

However

, one of the reasons why

this

is not possible is because poor people tend to struggle with life due to their bad financial management. Take a look at people who spending money on luxury goods and trying to live an extravagant

lifestyle but

Accept comma addition

lifestyle, but

not consider their

income

whether it enough or not.

Consequently

, these people might end up have problems with their life.

Therefore

, they tend to think that making a happier

society

is all about reducing the difference in earning. Despite the wide gap

among

Suggestion

between

income

levels, people are classified into two groups; rich and poor.

This

will motivate people to work hard, study, and try to reach a higher position in their careers.

Accordingly

, people will become better, smarter, and educated. All of which makes their life as well as a

society

happier.

For example

, modern technology that we are using these days,

such

as computers or

smartphones

Suggestion

smart phones

. All of these come from people who put effort, work hard, and make the world a better place.

Although

we are living in an unfair world that has inequality in earning, there are reasons why it produces a happier

society

This

essay argued why we do not need to minimize

income

range;

instead

, we should focus on taking action on good things that help to reach higher

income

to produce a happier

society

. In my opinion, reducing the gap between the rich and the poor is not the way to make our

society

happier.

Submitted by Pete 250 on Tue Jun 16 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think to produce a happier society, we must ensure there is only a small difference in earnings between the rich and the poor. To what extent do you agree?"

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Success if often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could you measure whether somebody is successful or not

nowadays children spend more time on their phones. Some people think it is a good idea while others disagree. What is your opinion?

Online is the best way to learn foreign language, To what do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?