IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The working hours are differing from
person
Use synonyms
 to
person
Use synonyms
 which is mostly depends on the occupation. In recent times, the lifestyle and culture of the people are changed drastically, which is pushing people to
work
Use synonyms
 long hours and causing their personal activities.
However
Linking Words
, people should balance the
work
Use synonyms
 and life to lead healthy atmosphere. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will describe the advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 situation. In the competitive world, people need to present their skills to achieve greater positions due to that they are working more hours, which will help them to lead a better life in the society. For some jobs, people are paid based on the working hours which means "more you
work
Use synonyms
, more you get", So that they are leaving little
time
Use synonyms
 for the venture. Need to earn more if a
person
Use synonyms
 wants to bring up their family, which is leading them to reduce their extra activities. Longer working hours are resulting in health issues like obesity, cardiac diseases, diabetes and so on. Every
person
Use synonyms
 needs to do some physical activities to keep fit and healthy. The leisure activities are not only exercises which include spending good
time
Use synonyms
 with family, friends and involve us in other activities like music, art, dance and sports but these will be eliminated when people reduce their
time
Use synonyms
 for leisure activities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people are always stressed and not able to concentrate on their
work
Use synonyms
. To recapitulate, disadvantages are overweigh the advantages.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people need to spend
time
Use synonyms
 equally to
work
Use synonyms
 as well as leisure activities.
Submitted by Jeevitha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: