IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries increasing number of people are suffering from from health problems result of eating too much fast foods government should impose higher taxes on them on what extent do you agree or disagree with this

More and more people believe that in certain regions, a significant number of individuals are suffering from health issues
due to
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 eating junk food, and
this
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 is considered more disadvantageous than advantageous. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
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 statement, and I believe that people are essentially responsible for supporting their own well-being. First of all, physical fitness is key to maintaining a strong and healthy body. Activities
such
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 as jogging, swimming, or even brisk walking can significantly improve
overall
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 health. It is recommended to aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise on most days of the week to strengthen muscles and boost energy levels. A study published in New York in 2025 concluded that 90% of people who followed exercise schedules prescribed by their doctors improved their lifestyles.
As a result
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, they felt energetic and creative in their jobs.
Moreover
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, a nutritious diet fuels the body and keeps it energised.
This
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 means including plenty of fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins in meals. Reducing processed foods and sugary snacks can
also
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 have a positive impact on well-being.
Furthermore
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, prioritising sleep is vital for physical recovery and mental clarity. A consistent sleep schedule can improve concentration, mood, and
overall
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 well-being.
For example
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, my brother, who was obese, followed a healthy diet and improved his health.
As a result
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, his life became better, and his cognitive function improved. In conclusion, despite the challenges of maintaining a healthy lifestyle, I believe wellness is not a destination but a way of life, and it starts with small, consistent steps.

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task response
Make sure every point you make directly answers the question. You touched on physical fitness and nutrition, but the connection to taxes on fast food isn't clear. Try to focus more on the question asked.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are quite clear, but some ideas could be linked better. For instance, you can connect the importance of diet and exercise to the consequences of junk food more effectively. Try using linking words like 'therefore' or 'as a result.'
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps your essay feel complete.
task achievement
You provide personal examples, which can make your argument more relatable and real.
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