IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

PEOPLE ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE OBESE. What are the reasons of this problem and how can this be solved?

#people #be
Nowadays, it has become a common trend for us to see too many overweight people.
This
 essay is aimed at highlighting some root causes of
this
 trend as well as suggesting two feasible solutions to decrease obesity.
Firstly
, excessive consumption of fatty products has resulted in people gaining extra kilograms. An easy access to fast food chains and limits at the spare time, of people have compelled individuals to end up eating unhealthy meals with decent cholesterol. The appealing decorations of the very branches with appetising pictures of burgers attract people to visit
such
 places frequently.
Moreover
, inactive lifestyles of people are to blame for obesity as well.
In other words
, the sedentary style of life brings about hard digestion of consuming meals in the stomach. As an outcome, the undigested nutrition turns into fat, which makes people obese greatly. One solution to the issue can be social endorsements propagating fitness and healthy eating. Evidently, celebrities have the social power to affect the society. Watching their idols doing sports, overweight people may commence attending the gym and having a well-balanced diet. Another way out can be an increase in the price of unhealthy food. I believe, far fewer people would consume greasy products on the condition that they cost too expensive. The effects of these suggested measures seem to eliminate obesity. By way of conclusion, the causes leading to extra gain of weight
such
 as consuming unhealthy food and inactivity of the public are vivid,
therefore
 governments ought to take prompt action to improve general fitness of people.
Submitted by Jamoliddin Abdurazakov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: