Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Music

is the bridge which links the people of various

tradition

Suggestion

traditions

and

age

together. I totally agree that

music

one

of the most effective tool to bring people closure to each other.

Firstly

music

Suggestion

the music

has no

language

In other words

, to like

music

it is not important to be familiar with the

language

of the

song

. There are so many people all around the world who have started enjoying Indian

music

Accept comma addition

music, although

although

they are not aware of the meaning of the

song

. I myself have experienced

this

when I was on a holiday on

cruise

Suggestion

a cruise

where

one

of the singer seeing our group started singing

one

of the famous Hindi

song

Accept comma addition

song, although

although

he was a Philippine and did not

understood

Suggestion

understand

the meaning of the

song

Also

, nowadays there are many

inter-cultural

Suggestion

intercultural

concerts taking place where singers of different region sing the songs in the

language

of the region to which they do not belong. So,

music

is what

one

feels and not necessary that

it’s

of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"

its

language

is understood.

Secondly

music

cannot be bound in the

age

barriers. People of different

age

enjoying listening to some of the evergreen musical

composition

Suggestion

compositions

. In India it is seen frequently that 6-8 years children sing songs of

19th century

Suggestion

the 19th century

to which their great

grand parents

a parent of your father or mother

grandparents

belong.

Also

, around the

world there

Accept comma addition

world, there

are certain musicians which are heard by people belonging to all

age

groups.

Hence

music

has the power to unite different

age

groups together. To conclude,

music

one

of the vital link which has the power to unite the people of diverse traditions and

age

groups as it has no boundaries of

language

, religion,

age

or nationality.

Submitted by PRINCY PATEL on Wed Jun 17 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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