Some people think that children should study in school the subject of science of food and how to prepare it properly. Other think it is a waste of time, because there are more important subjects to study. Discuss both views and give your opinion with reasons and relevant examples."

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Human consumption is one of the main needs that has an impact on all aspects of their life. A group of people believe it is necessary for students to study nutrition science and way of preparation in the best way,
while
another group of citizens, consider
this
point as a waste of time because there are fields that are more essential for studying. I think having a special course for foodstuff is beneficial for schoolers owing to growing the number of obese people.
To begin
with, food is vital for humankind and they have to consume at least three
meals
during a day these intakes are fuel for our body to live, think and
also
grow. So it is essential to be aware of ingredients and the impacts that they can have on our hygiene state.
Additionally
, because of the increase in the use of fast foods and junk
meals
our communities are struggling with the obesity problem
also
researchers estimated that in the next decades fat population will double.
As a result
, I believe it is important to tackle
this
problem and start to make society aware of the effects that our dishes have on our buddies.
For example
, the number of fast food shops has increased dramatically and nowadays
this
type of meal is easier to access compared to the past and because of fair prices and fast delivery ,the customers of in
this
industry has risen significantly and they are not aware of horrific features of those foods and unfortunately children are the biggest fan and captured a major percentage of
this
figure.
On the other hand
, there are many necessary majors for students to endure and putting extra weight on their studies will make them tired in the long term.
Moreover
, extra lessons need money and time and these items will make things more sophisticated.
However
, the knowledge of
meals
is vital and to solve
this
worrying issue governments can consider
this
lesson as an extra course and not think about grades and just have it for public awareness to decrease effects and solve obesity problems before they reach the peak level of danger. In conclusion , our consumption will define our health and efficiency so it is advantageous to know about it. In my opinion, having knowledge about
meals
is positive and governments can consider extra courses for students to prevent obesity and clarify junk cuisine aspects because it is important and has to be done to halt other uncontrollable consequences.
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your essay has a good structure but aim for even clearer transitions between paragraphs.
Linking words
Use a range of cohesive devices correctly to link your ideas. You've done well, but incorporating more varied linking words can enhance coherence.
Task response
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. You've done a great job discussing both views and giving your opinion. Continue to support your points with specific examples.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Double-check your essay for minor grammatical errors and aim to use a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate lexical resource.
Task response
Your essay has a clear stance and you've effectively given your opinion, which is a positive aspect of task response.
Support
You used examples and reasons to support your points, which strengthens your argument and task achievement.
Coherence
The logical flow from introduction through to conclusion makes your essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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