IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
It is argued that governments should allocate more of its budget to schools
instead
 of leisure and sports.
This
 essay agrees that governments should direct more of its funds towards
education
. The
first
 reason is because investing in
education
 can bring about greater returns to the
economy
 in the future; and the
second
 reason is because
secondly
, it brings about a safer society. Governments should pour more money into
education
 because it is beneficial towards the
economy
. Having a higher budget for
education
 allows for reform of the
education
 system for the better and more qualified teachers can be hired.
This
 results in a more highly skilled workforce that brings about greater output of the
economy
, achieving economic growth.
For instance
, Singapore heavily subsidises school fees for Singaporeans and
this
 has encouraged many more Singaporeans to pursue their tertiary studies.
This
 leads to more university graduates who contribute even more to the
economy
. Governments should invest more in
education
 because
this
also
 brings about a safer society. As the workforce generally becomes more skilled, these individuals earn a higher income than before to satisfy their basic needs.
This
 removes their incentive to commit crimes for money. One of the key reasons why Singapore has
such
 a low crime rate is due to the schooling its people receives. In conclusion, governments should allocate more funds towards schools as it benefits the
economy
 in the long run and brings about a more secure society. Legislation
should
Suggestion
should also set
also
 be set up to ensure everyone has a basic level of literacy in the country and no one is left behind.
Submitted by Mak Wai Theng on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
What to do next:
Look at other essays: