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Writing Samples
Band 3

🔶Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. 🔸To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#🔶some #opportunity #🔸to
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By increasing serious problems like indigence, unemployment and disease in many parts of the world, the need for the wealthy
people
Suggestion
person
person's
 donation feel more and more. I completely agree that rich people by providing job opportunities and subscription can contribute poor people to have a better
lives
Suggestion
life
. Poverty and unemployment have caused a lot of problems for poor people and following that for the society.
Fortunately there
Accept comma addition
Fortunately, there
 are many people who care about these people and help them have better lives
.
Accept space
.
Linking Words
although
Suggestion
Although
 many of them are not very rich, they by establishing charities and collecting public donations help poor people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, wealthy people can do an entrepreneurship for individuals who are
unemployed especially
Accept comma addition
unemployed, especially
 for householders and youth who are forming their family. By providing job opportunities individuals’ talents and abilities will be
flourished which
Accept comma addition
flourished, which
 Will make
brighter future
Suggestion
a brighter future
brighter futures
 for societies. Some may argue that donating causes some problems like demotivating poor people to strive harder,
however
Linking Words
, I believe that by contributing indigence and disabled individuals financially and providing job opportunities for work forces not only will they not be demotivated but
also
Linking Words
 they will be encouraged to improve their lives better and healthier. In conclusion, I am certain that if wealthy people with entrepreneurship and financial aid contribute poor and jobless people to have convenient lives, their donations will definitely make the societies healthier and safer for everyone in the world .
Submitted by Elsa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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