Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, social
media
is increasingly popular among people
. Though it keeps you in contact with different people
and gives you the latest updates it makes your personal information prone to more risks and threats. In my opinion, demerits
of Correct article usage
the demerits
such
technology will have detrimental effects and overpower the merit of the same.
One of the greatest benefits of social media
is that it has brought the whole world closer. It has made the world compact in terms that we can talk to any person at any time and can view their activities as well just through an application. Further
, we get easy access to the events happening around the globe and can be a part of it. For instance
, a person sharing a live video of the
music concert in America can be witnessed by all members of the friend list. Correct article usage
a
Overall
, such
automation allows understanding
different cultures and adopting new things.
Change preposition
for understanding
On the contrary
, such
technology has disadvantages as well in terms of risking the privacy of the people
. At present, the
crimes are rising at an alarming rate, especially Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
cyber crime
. It is quite difficult to distinguish between the genuine profiles and the fake ones. The hackers hack the account and may misuse the data shared on social Correct your spelling
cybercrime
media
. People
are habitual of
sharing their recent activities on social Change preposition
in
media
. Such
information works as a golden opportunity for robbers. In total, the disadvantages of such
technology may have a broader reach to people
.
In conclusion, the increasing use of social media
is affecting the lives of the people
. Despite it provides
the scope of reducing the cultural disparities, it may lead you to fall Wrong verb form
providing
in
major troubles as well. Change preposition
into
Therefore
, I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, keeping the safety of people
in mind.Submitted by Jasleen on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt adequately by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media. However, there could be a clearer stance taken on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transition words could be used more effectively to improve overall coherence and cohesion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite