Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. films stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, entertainment is more significant for life, and it is argued that entertainers
such
Linking Words
as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much salary. In my opinion, I agree and
also
Linking Words
disagree with/partly agree with
this
Linking Words
viewpoint. I do not concur with
this
Linking Words
angle because of- some reasons below.
First
Linking Words
of all, film stars, pop musicians and sports stars are occupations, entertainers genuine spend their time, money and health to practice and raise their ability to make many goods and services for public or audiences.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is suitable for them to receive a lot of wage.
Secondly
Linking Words
, artistic talent is really rare and there is a small number of people who can create special art goods or art services for audiences. If you have a special good, you absolutely can sell it with a high price. These arguments given above can be seen as opposite perspective in equal measure.
To begin
Linking Words
with, some entertainers whose goods or services are not really good, but their salaries, which they receive from their audiences are very high.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some singers whose voices are bad in Vietnam recently, but they have had some scandals and public are interested in them, so they have paid a large amount of salary to see and hear these singers singing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some jobs
such
Linking Words
as - engineers, researchers- need abundant time, knowledge and various work experiences do these jobs, but they have been paid much far less payment than entertainers. In conclusion, I do concur and
also
Linking Words
do disagree with the perspective that entertainers are paid too much money.
Submitted by Trinh Vuong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: