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Band 6

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves.

#people #festivals #periods
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Some people think that festivals lost their original meaning, and that most of us treat them as opportunities to have
enjoyment
Suggestion
enjoyed
enjoying
. I agree with that we should get enjoyment during festivals,
however
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 disagree that people have forgotten the true meaning of festivals. On the one hand, traditional and religious festivals are becoming more popular. Every school has their own program to teach youngsters about the origin of the festival. In Mongolia, the lunar new year is one of the biggest celebration, as time goes, it is becoming polite and better for the environment.
For example
Linking Words
, back in the 2000 schools were not teaching children anything about traditions, so they had to learn it from their parents and relatives. But now in the modern world, you can read it from anywhere, televisions, magazines, one simple search from the internet can tell the meanings of festivals. Nowadays, people, especially youngsters wait religious event to just to have pleasant. It is important that you get enjoyment from ancient cultures.
For example
Linking Words
, during the lunar new year, we greet our elders, give and receive presents, decorate our home, and eat a delicious traditional meal with our extended family, it is entertaining that we see our cousins and relatives. The recent study shows that people who enjoy traditional and religious festivals have more event knowledge than the others who dislike it. To conclude, national events are becoming more and more popular,
also
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 it is important to know the origin of the festivals, and spend a pleasant time.
Submitted by Shiro on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural dilution
  • Traditional values
  • Secularization
  • Festivity
  • Heritage
  • Individualism vs. collectivism
  • Consumer culture
  • Intangible cultural heritage
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