Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#governments #care #support #people #responsibility #person #retirement

Some people argue that, the government should not provide the personal

care

and the financial

support

to their elderly people in the country, where they explained that, it's an each person's responsibility to have their retirement

fee

support

themselves. I strongly disagree with

this

statement,

hence

the government should not ignore them, as everyone will not have the opportunity to obtain a retirement

fee

Firstly

, it can be said that, the older people are known as the important people in the country.

Therefore

, it is an essential to look after them by providing with the basic

care

or even with the financial

support

when it is necessary.

For example

, the some older families cannot afford the money to buy their medicine or even the food, in

such

circumstances the government has to provide them

accordingly

to their needs and wants.

In contrast

, the some families can use their retirement

fee

and the insurance

fee

to cover their requirements, among these people, some have the money to get assistance in the age cares or even in the personal nursing

care

centres.

Secondly

, the people who don't have the money, will have a lack of happiness in their life.

Then

again, these people tend to be worry too much again, which can lead to several mental problems

such

as depression, dementia, and might even will influence to the other health problems like blood pressure, cholesterol and much more. To conclude

this

, It can be said that, the old people cannot ignore in the society, because they are

also

part in the nation while providing them with the basic

care

and the financial

support

is necessary for the people who have no income in their hands.

Nevertheless

, treating

the old

Suggestion

older

people with the respect and the

care

is most important to do so,

this

will help to have them a quality life.

Submitted by navi 1987 on Tue Jun 23 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?

1.Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion?