Children are facing more pressure from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of such pressure? What measures can be taken to reduce it?

Children nowadays are

faceing

a lining applied to the edge of a garment for ornamentation or strengthening

facing

stress from different part of their life,

Such

Linking Words

as a school, a Family.

Thus

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, that may cause various consequences in their development.

Firstly

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, the high expectation of the

gurdian

a plot of ground where plants are cultivated

garden

because they expect many things without showing whether their children have potential to fulfil their requirements.

As a result

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, They send them to join some coaching classes.So that, children spend most of their time to study and rarely get 4 or 5 hours to sleep.

Thus

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, that hectic schedule built pressure on their mind and suffer from various mental as well as the physical problems.

In addition

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, the administration concentrates on academic growth only and arrange some extra classes for students which makes the situation worse.

For instance

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, a report generated by Europe health department shows that around 40% adults are being suffered from Mental disorder because of too much burden of academic requirements.

Secondly

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, adolescent demanding some costly electronic equipments which are not afforded by their parents.

Moreover

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, they choose some

unappropriate

suitable for a particular person or place or condition etc

appropriate

ways to achieve their needs. To illustrate

this

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, I would like to show an incident happened in Los angel, USA where a 16 year old boy stole an iPhone from the store and after a detailed investigation, they found that he stole that thing because of his colleagues have the same phone.

Moreover

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, his parents

also

Linking Words

denied to buy.

On the other hand

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, to control

this

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phenomenon parents and teacher both have to know the ability of their children.

In addition

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, the government should encourage educational institute to add co-curricular activities in their syllabus.

Furthermore

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, Children should maintain their time by doing an activity which they like

Accept space

As a result

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they may learn the time management. To conclude, I reiterate that pressure may cause many mental problems which may eliminate their growth. But, the government and parents should play an important role to handle

this

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consequence.

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Jun 23, 2020

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

307 words

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Children are facing more pressure from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of such pressure? What measures can be taken to reduce it?

Your opinion

Society is based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do, it could not function. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement? (22/08 ; rewrite)

Many countries today are experiencing problems associated with noise pollution (excessive noise above a normal background noise.) What are the causes of this phenomenon, and what effects does it have on the people affected

Numerous animal species worldwide are currently facing extinction. Some argue that countries and individuals should prioritize protecting these animals, while others believe resources should be focused more on human issues. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

International travel is becoming cheaper, and more and more countries open their door to tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages?