Many people think that people cannot help everyone so they should be concerned about their community and country . Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #community #country

Today more

Accept comma addition

Today, more

than 7

bln of people are

Suggestion

billion people are

billion of people are

currently living on

planet

Suggestion

the planet

. In

this

order some people believe that it is impossible to supply

needs

Suggestion

the needs

of everyone, that's why it is better to sustain

necessities

Suggestion

the necessities

of local community or people that you surround.

However

, prosperity of

indivudual

Suggestion

the individual

individual

individuals

inseperable

not capable of being separated

inseparable

society

Suggestion

society's

wealth,

thus

avoiding of poverty and famine of all

groups despite

Accept comma addition

groups, despite

their nationality and location should be our common goal. In general a significant proportion of

population

Suggestion

the population

is suffering from absence of basic

nessesities

the condition of being essential or indispensable

necessities

. Millions of people are starving and located in conflicts zones, some of them live in a less than 1 dollar per day,

whreas

on the other hand

whereas

they could use their skills and qualifications to improve quality of life.

For instance

, experience of humanitarian organizations

show

Suggestion

shows

that financial and social support of

underthreated

make too low an estimate of

underrated

sociums

, could boost economical growth

drammatically

in a very impressive manner

dramatically

Secondly

besides

economical prosperity, the neglecting of problems minorities is

undoubetly

without doubt; certainly

undoubtedly

unfair and promote

rise

Suggestion

the rise

of overall inequality in

world

Suggestion

the world

. Another hand it is clear it is

extremly

to a high degree or extent; favorably or with much respect

extremely

difficult to satisfy the needs of all

population

Suggestion

populations

. Low level of life in some regions is caused by conflicts and geographical features, in

this

context international organizations do not have restrictions to establish constant support.

Moreover

, charitable organizations are highly affected by funding and lack of finances decrease opportunities of those.

Finally

, international authorities like

Suggestion

the UN

should implement several ways of protecting

underthreatened

Suggestion

under threatened

groups

Accept space

Besides

this

measures

Suggestion

measure

, the

acess

the right to enter

access

to basic needs should be provided to all categories and minorities

Accept space

to sustain wealthy and prosperity life to every living creature.

Submitted by A on Tue Jun 23 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that people cannot help everyone so they should be concerned about their community and country . Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries will not be need because people can see historical objects and works of arts by computers. Do you agree or disagree