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Band 4.5

some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#students #year #school #university #travel #work
A gap year has come front of parents for a long time, especially in Asia
.
Accept space
.
 The
exactly
Suggestion
exact
 benefit of
gap year
Suggestion
a gap year
 is a myth. Some families suppose that it is a
ludicurous
broadly or extravagantly humorous; resembling farce
ludicrous
, while the others are not. In the following paragraphs
,
Accept space
,
 I will explore the rationale for both beliefs as well as
profeer
present for acceptance or rejection
proffer
proper
 justification for my own viewpoint. Regarding those who enter into a university suddenly, they gain some mainly benefits in education. The
vastly
Suggestion
vast
 majority
keep
Suggestion
keeps
 study continually. So
,
Accept space
,
if you vanish from
educational system
Suggestion
the educational system
an educational system
 for a moment, you will not able to compete with your high school friends.
Futhermore
in addition
Furthermore
, stop studying for a year has a noticeably critical impact on knowledge.
Consequently
, you might not learn as well as your peers can.
Nevertheless
, I firmly believe that opinion is nonsense. The obvious reason is that we live in the
globalize
Suggestion
globalized
globalizing
 world. People across the world
are connected
Suggestion
connect
 via
internet
Suggestion
the internet
, stuck with the old environment is obsolete.
Moreover
, extraordinary experience will be gained by learning from real life. When we grow up, those
experience
Suggestion
experiences
will be develop
Suggestion
will be developed
 into a wisdom and provide us a tool for solving real world problems.
Infact
Suggestion
In fact
, Havard Business Review published a research that found more than 70% of rising star employees had
traveld
traveled over or through; sometimes used as a combining term
travelled
 or worked for a while. According to research,
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 and working
are play
Suggestion
are playing
have played
 a major role in improving of mindset. In sum, I am of opinion that the pros
outweight
be heavier than
outweigh
outweighed
 the cons in
long run
Suggestion
the long run
. I sincerely hope everyone will
coniderably
to a great extent or degree
considerably
 about it again.
Submitted by Adsadang Pisedsalasai on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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