IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays young people spend too much of their time in shopping mall. Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extant do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #mall #fear #effects #society
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It
Suggestion
It's
 often argued that Expending as well much
time
Use synonyms
 in
shopping center
Suggestion
a shopping centre
shopping centre
the shopping centre
shopping centres
 is
setbacks
structure where a wall or building narrows abruptly
set-back
 on youthful individuals. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 that will make a youngster to be a aimless person as well as
a
Suggestion
an
 unbearable burden turning them into unemployment in the society. Passing maximum
time
Use synonyms
 in shopping area
offer
Suggestion
offers
 a
life
Use synonyms
 in a devastating way which indicates a aimless
life
Use synonyms
where
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
were
 the absence of right destination. It is high
time
Use synonyms
 to study hard for the youthful one to shape a secured
life
Use synonyms
 by setting up a
dreamy
Suggestion
dream
 destination. For
examaple
an item of information that is typical of a class or group
example
examples
, Dr Mohammad Yonuse, noble holder in peace, is a successful man by fixing
a
Suggestion
an
 achievable goal in the beginning of
life
Use synonyms
 was impossible wasting
time
Use synonyms
 in
shopping mall
Suggestion
a shopping mall
the shopping mall
 a big
time
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, In case of losing valuable
time
Use synonyms
 to walk here and there and making a
life
Use synonyms
 without qualification are unable to get a good job to lead a happy
life
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, ultimately they are being unemployments are shown
a
Suggestion
an
 extra burden for any society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several individuals think that timing in a shopping
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
 is a great source to acquire a vast knowledge from the reality
wiill
the capability of conscious choice and decision and intention
will
well
 help them in the critical moments
that is
Linking Words
 totally impossible in absence of passing
time
Use synonyms
 in
shopping area
Suggestion
the shopping area
a shopping area
. That's why There is no alternative way
lo
(astrology) a person who is born while the sun is in Leo
Leo
 lead a
life
Use synonyms
 very smoothly and successfully without gaining practical knowledge. To conclude, In the culminating
points
Suggestion
point
 that spending
time
Use synonyms
 in shopping mall may gain little
knowledge
Suggestion
Knowledge
 to lead a
Use synonyms
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
 I believe that to avoid wasting
time
Use synonyms
 in
shopping mall
Suggestion
a shopping mall
the shopping mall
 is a key to succeed in
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Jessy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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