You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have

#job #employment #agency #sort #skills

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my interest in pursuing a new career opportunity in the marketing field. After earning my MBA, I spent eight years as a Marketing Manager for a leading logistics company, focusing on portfolio design, rate setting and new product implementation. My years of experience have proven me to be a customer-focused professional as I am passionate about growing the company's business.

Further

, I specialize in data mining, customer needs perception and strategic market planning. Currently, I am looking for a more senior position that will allow me to take on more responsibility,

such

as a Senior Marketing Manager position, as I believe

this

will allow me to utilize my talents.

Also

, I am looking for an opportunity to work with colleagues around the world in a Fortune 500 organization like UPS or FedEx. Yours faithfully Antoine

Submitted by huaixiangdong on Fri Dec 01 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a separate element of the task, avoiding mixing details about experience and job aspirations.

Coherence and Cohesion

While the overall structure is good, using clearer topic sentences could enhance the logical flow.

Task Achievement

To fully address the task, provide more specific examples of your skills and experiences that are relevant to the marketing field.

Task Achievement

Consider using more varied sentence constructions to give the letter a more professional and sophisticated tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

142 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

University education should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that we should not encourage sports games among schools because they lead to competition rather than cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?